Tuesday, June 15, 2004


I know very little about this story. I don't know who wrote it, I don't know it's title, and I don't even know whether it's a complete story. I like it, and it's short.

By anonymous

The father closed his eyes, and leaned back in his chair. He said, "I like Jell-O pudding because I like a good hearty meal after a brisk walk on a winter's day — something to really warm me up."

The boy giggled and the girl giggled.

The father looked confused. "This is the Jell-O pudding contest, isn't that what you said?" he said. "Well, okay then, he said. "I like Jell-O pudding because it has a tough satin finish that resists chipping and peeling. No, no," he said, "I mean, I like Jell-O pudding because it has a fruitier taste. Because it's garden fresh," he said. "Because it goes on dry and protects me from wetness longer. Oh, Jell-O pudding," the father said. "I like it because it's more absorbent than those other brands. Won't chafe or ride up."

He opened his eyes and saw his son leave the room. The sound that had made the father open his eyes was the pen that the boy had thrown to the floor.

"You may already be a winner," the father said.

"Yes, I like Jell-O pudding because it's the one thing to take when you really want to bufficate a headache. Or when you need to mirtilize bad breath, unless you want your bad breath to mirtilize you."

This time the sound that brought him around was the sound of his car keys swinging on their chain. His daughter held the keys. She said, "Daddy, come on. You'll be late."

"That's what I told you, didn't I?" the father said. "I said, 'Don't make me late for my apointment.'"

He followed his daughter out to the car. "Did I tell you the thing about Jell-O?" he said.

He closed his eyes again. "You know," he continued, "most pudding makes me edgy. But not Jell-O pudding. That's because it has no caffeine. Tastes right — and is built to stay that way."


At 11:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe this is part of the short story 'Celia is Back', by Amy Hempel in her collection entitled 'Reasons to Live'. What a great writer!


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